its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
