The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Come see our sink grown plant.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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