So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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