i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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