my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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