So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
