dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
