just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
