Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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