He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
