I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
