I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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