he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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