i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
