So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
