dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
