Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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