I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Randomize
