I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Randomize
