Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
he had hair everywhere except his balls
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
