he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
