I think my vagina is haunted
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
