People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
