And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
