He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
