Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
