is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
