onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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