found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
