He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
