Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you traded sex for a burrito?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
