google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
