I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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