Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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