did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
