I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
