did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My breath smells like gin and sadness
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
