quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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