I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
