I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
