Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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