oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
