I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
