You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
