The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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