I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
