my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
