I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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