Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
