i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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