I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
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